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That said, this isn’t your standard blind date/hook-up app situation: I haven’t met this woman before, I didn’t swipe right on her, and we don’t have any friends in common. That sounds both impressive and horrifying, but it’s true. I’ve lived in LA, on and off, for about four years now. I download them all, do a whole lot of swiping and... My thumbs get plenty of exercise, but not much more.

I think I’m a decent enough fella, but I never seem to make “dating” work. The offline dating scene hasn't worked any better for me. It looked like a casual coffee between friends, but it was really the first step in the matchmaking process. When you’re trying to date, we kind of skip this step.

As a Los Angeleno in the modern era, “dating” has mostly revolved around apps. I've found LA bars to be either total meat markets with music too loud for conversation or dark bars tucked into weird corners of town for hardcore drinkers. I instantly regret choosing it -- I sort of regret all my life choices up until this point. Before the shame spiral really gets spiraling, she walks in, all dressed in blue. Eventually, we turned to the task at hand: what was I looking for? We think, “Well, I’ll know it when I see it.” But how do you look for it?

I don’t go to the gym enough or do yoga or whatever people do now to meet women during exercise. Physically, she’s just my type: the right height, the right curves, a killer smile. Adelle had a standard “intake” interview: a series of questions about me, about my dating history, my likes and dislikes. (Lacking kindness, for sure.) Adelle was great, totally non-judgmental about my quirks and oddities.

Combine that with a hand-selected match by a professional matchmaker and you have improved your chances at dating success.

It’s Just Lunch matchmakers have matched hundreds of thousands of single professionals and arranged over 2 million first dates resulting in tens of thousands of marriages, engagements and long term relationships.

I’m at Urth Caffé in West Hollywood and I can’t stop fidgeting. -- for the first time, and I’m hoping that the right arrangement of my hands will lead to everlasting love. If I’m being honest, “single” has been my natural state for most of my adult life. I got stood up once, the other two were each an awkward, stilted date -- then done. A “partner in crime,” like every fifth person on Tinder?

During most of that time, I’ve been wildly, definitively, stubbornly single. In the past two years, I’ve had maybe three matches turn into dates.

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