Dealing online dating rejection
There can be a dozen reasons why you sent a message to that person who seemed perfect for you, but they just didn't answer back.Sometimes, women are (with some justification) nervous about reaching out when they're unsure.'Explore' means trying to understand why the rejection occurred. Many times, you don't have much to go on - just a 'Not interested'.
Because our ancestors survived by being a part of a tribe, this need remains inside us and means that memories of rejection are stronger and more easily remembered than those of physical pain.
Give it a go yourself – thinking of some of your most painful memories will no doubt bring back emotionally painful thoughts over those times when you were in physical pain.
Believe me, most men are so much better at this online dating thing than we are. (But keep in mind that men, especially men dating in their 40s, 50s and beyond, still have the same dating challenges we do; sometimes worse.) So just know this, and heed my advice to let the feeling of online rejection wash over you.
They get told ‘no’ wayyyy more than we do, but they understand that this is a process, accept that and keep going. Let’s separate true rejection with what you consider as online rejection. Guys in their older years have the statistical advantage – there are more of us (women over 40 looking for love) and fewer of them (men over 40 doing the same). “I’d figure he probably went off to live his busy life and, since he didn’t really know me, I just kind of dropped out of his mind. Also heed my advice about how to make online dating work best for you. One advantage to being a woman over 40 is that you have the perspective of a life well lived.
Comment: Hi, I am wondering if what happens to me is “normal” in the dating world here in NYC. I meet an average of 3 guys per week, which some would consider lucky.
I think I would feel lucky if all I wanted was to go to countless dates with men that 98% of the time I never hear back from. Do other women experience what I take as rejection??
They want someone under 5’2”, someone who skis, someone without kids, someone who lives closer, etc.
These things have absolutely nothing to do with who you are or even what you look like.
Below I’ve outlined 5 facts about rejection that you might not have known and also 5 things you can do to get yourself back on track.
Numerous studies have shown us that the same parts of the brain are stimulated by rejection as well as by physical pain which is why emotional rejection can affect people in a huge way.
Rejection, Not All Bad Dealing with rejection is never fun. You expressed an interest in someone, and they said 'No, thanks'. That early rejection saves you more grief later, when it turns out your fantasy doesn't match reality. But when that happens a few times, or from someone you really thought you had a connection to, it's worthwhile taking some time to try to understand why. There are often multiple reasons, some not so easy to ferret out.